Phobias and Past Lives

Recently I wandered into a rather large, high-end shopping mall.  I shouldn’t really say wandered in as I intended to go there. 

In fact, I have been to this mall quite a bit lately, and to be honest, it is a rather nice mall, featuring multiple levels of pricey stores and restaurants to tempt those who enter. However, I can easily walk by the high-end stores and not be tempted.  I honestly can’t afford them, and I am a bit to cheap to pay exorbitant prices.

But pricey shopping is not really what I want to write about at the moment. 

To set the stage, as they say, the shopping mall features a towering, charming sun-lit atrium.  However, I find the mall’s glass elevators and its multi-level escalators to be less charming. I should also mention at this point that each of the levels are fenced in with a glass railing. 

Why am I mentioning this? It is because I have a fear of heights. I actually cannot remember a time when I wasn’t afraid of heights.  It seems almost like I was born with it.

But I am usually able to find a workaround for dealing with this fear. For example, I will walk a block out of my way to avoid a high bridge. However, it has proven a little harder in this mall for three reasons.  It has multiple levels, glass elevators, and soaring escalators. 

I especially don’t care for its escalators as they seem to be suspended in midair, pulling victims up or down like a slow-moving predator.  Or at least, that is how the escalators appear to me. 

Anyhow, on that day, I was in search of a particular store, which unfortunately turned out to be on one of the higher levels of the mall.  I took a deep breath and decided to proceed with caution.  I boarded the glass elevator, preferring it to the escalators, and rode up one level.  I cautiously exited the elevator and started to slowly walk.  I kept as far from the glass railing as possible, almost hugging the interior wall, stores, and other patrons who refused to get out of my way.  Simply put, I was not getting anywhere near that dangerous glass railing. 

The mall designers likely wanted to create an open, airy feel to the mall.  But unfortunately, I would have preferred a dark tunnel-like walkway. 

Eventually, I made my way to the wing of the mall in which the store was located.  I looked to the right and then to the left, but the store was not there.  My eyes then looked upward, and there sat the store, seemingly mocking me.  I was on the wrong level of the mall.  As the realization came to me that I needed to go up one more level, I mumbled a cuss word or two. 

The menacing sound of a nearby escalator caught my attention. I turned and watched as it pulled its victims higher and higher.  I froze, unsure of what to do.  The glass elevator was quite a distance behind me.  I debated if I should finally face my fear and use the nearby escalator.   

I looked up at the store and then at the escalator again. I shook my head and walked away, deciding against going up another level. The fear had won.

As I mentioned earlier, I have always been afraid of heights. I suppose the most likely explanation is that I had an early childhood experience, such as a fall, which triggered this fear/phobia. However, I don’t remember any such event. And I have often quizzed my family in this regard, and no one else remembers such an event either.

But there is another explanation.  Since my fear of heights cannot be linked to an experience in my life, it is one of an unknown origin. And this is a key element for those who believe such fears/phobias are ones carried forward from past lives. 

As many of us did during the pandemic, I attended a few Zoom classes/events.  And one of these was conducted by a woman (with a PhD in Health Psychology). However, she has drifted away from western psychology concepts and is open to more, shall we say, spiritual teachings.

Anyhow, she discussed the possibility that some things can bleed over from a past life, especially those that are unresolved or traumatic. I fully understand that this is likely a tough sell for many people.  But it makes a certain amount of sense to me.  At least, it offers one possibility for why I am so fearful of heights. And to date, it is the only explanation that I have.

So, who knows, maybe in my next life, I will finally overcome my fear of heights.

***

“When you have eliminated all which is impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”  Arthur Conan Doyle, The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes